Walking Dead
by Shules
Summary: I let my emotions flow fully as I collapsed to the cold, hard ground sobbing. I found that I was unable to quell the pain, which now shot everywhere throughout me, by simply holding myself. I needed someone else to be there for me…with me. I needed Jasper


**Hey guys! This is my first Twilight fanficiton. I fell in love with the series and am counting down the days until Breaking Dawn and the Twilight Movie!**

**So I attempted to make this sad, because I really want to touch people emotionally. I'm not really sure how well I accomplished my goal though. Hopefully, you like it! **

**I re-checked for errors, that's why I reposted.**

**Disclaimer: Steph Meyer's. Not mine. We all know.**

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APOV

There he was, sitting directly in front of me, and yet he'd never seemed farther away. We watched each other quietly for a few moments and I took this opportunity to study him. It had been a while since I had seen his expression so calm.

It wasn't so much calm as simply emotionless, I realized now. His eyes were the way I last saw them: the small amounts of darkened topaz rimmed his slightly dilated, black pupils, reflecting his thirst. His perfect lips were relaxed into a straight line, as to give nothing away in his expression.

The corners of my mouth twitched upward slightly as I spotted his disheveled blonde waves of hair that rested messily atop his head. Jasper always could bring a smile to my face, and I wondered how I'd been able to manage the past few days without him around.

I reached out eagerly, yet cautiously, to make contact with his face. I was more than ready to feel the electricity we shared flow through me again. The pads of my fingers were just about to graze his cheek when he began to grow paler than usual.

My hand froze in mid air as I curiously watched. His complexion whitened and blurred, until I eventually I could see though him. His sudden transparency alerted me to the situation. Frantically, I snatched out to him as his image disappeared completely. I tried again and looked down at my hand expectantly. Nothing but empty air lay in my palm.

Suddenly the world came crashing down around me. The wet ground I'd been sitting on seeped through my clothing, and I was fully aware of it now. I did not care though, for I found my eyes once again glued to the inscription on the recently plotted headstone.

_Jasper Whitlock Hale_

_1988-2008_

_Beloved Son, _

_Brother, and Husband_

My dried tear stains acted as pathways leading the brand new salty droplets on their journey down my fatigued face. I watched as my outstretched hand, hanging dead in the air, began to convulse. I quickly brought it back to my body, first to suppress a whimper. Then, I kneaded it hard over the area where my heart had suddenly become claustrophobic inside my ribcage.

I yanked my legs tightly to my chest and hugged my knees. Still shaking unhealthily, I pulled my head down, as if trying to compress myself would compact the gnawing pain as well.

I'd been at the funeral. It was such an idiotic and silly human ritual, but it was supposed to somehow put the deceased at peace.

Why did we burry a casket though? I mean what was the point? He was not…there were no…remains buried there. I guess it was all for show for the few humans who did attend. A few things about his life had been modified.

I glanced back at the tombstone. 1988-2008. Yeah I'd say that was for the humans' benefits as well. 1843, his actual birth year, would have been hard for the mere mortals to comprehend.

I ran my hands over the ground in remembrance of the day he passed. It had only been a few weeks since it had happened, and was all too fresh in my mind.

_**Flashback**_

_My laughter filled the air and Jasper and I went speeding through the forest. We were juvenilely racing to see who'd make it to our favorite hunting ground first. We, unlike the rest of our family, had yet to hunt._

"_Haha. I knew I'd win!" I bubbled as I came into the clearing. I turned to face him completely prepared to rub my victory in his irresistible face. When I realized he wasn't there, I spun around in all directions searching for him, "Jasper?" The victory dance I had been subconsciously executing, slowly ceased as I became slightly unnerved, "Jasper?"_

_Suddenly I had a vision come over me, but it was too late because he had already tackled me to ground. I screeched in delight as we wrestled playfully on the soft grass of the clearing. After a few minutes of rolling, I finally ended up pinned directly under him. He placed his arms on either side of me as not to crush me with his own body weight –like it would actually hurt me. _

_It's the thought that counts. I giggled to myself._

_His laughter matched mine in a musical tone, "Hi," he greeted unnecessarily._

"_Hey…" I played along._

_I don't know how to explain the feeling I get whenever he's around me. I guess it's like never-ending excitement, with energy boiling in my veins. I just feel so overwhelmed with happiness. I swear I can feel it welling up around my dead heart even when he merely glances at me. Words are insufficient in describing what Jasper means to me, though. Kissing…among other activities…are the only ways I can really express my undivided love for him. _

_I giggled like a school girl again, sure my elatedness was radiating off me, "Just trying to distract me, huh?" I kissed him firmly on the lips playfully._

"_Whatever do you mean?" He kept his eyes closed; barely making his question coherent while he returned my kiss._

_I deepened the kiss but managed to get out in between breathes, "The race…beat you…loser equal you."_

_He smiled against my lips and pulled away, much to my disappointment. Surely he noticed the pout on my lips, for he chuckled and pulled me to my feet._

"_Silly Alice, I was here way before you." He contradicted me._

_I let my jaw fall open widely as I prepared to argue. Just as I was about to rebuttal a strong force pushed an image into my head. I stumbled back slightly and felt Jasper grasp my waist in concern and support. _

_The vision was very recent, meaning it would happen soon. I watched in horror as it played out into my head without my willingness. I thrashed slightly in a futile attempt to shake it away. By the end of it, Jasper was holding my head firmly to his chest in comfort, while sweetly wiping away the few escaped tears._

_He gave me a meaningful look and I explained quickly, terrified, "There's another vampire coming…not like us, his eyes were blood red. He wants to kill us…He has our scents and is on his way! Why does he want to kill us? Jasper! We didn't do anything to him. I think it's a newborn; I'm not sure though…all I could sense from him was his hunger to slaughter…anything; to annihilate whatever he finds…and he's sensed us! We have to leave now!! He's on his way; by now he's more than half here," I rambled on, pulling Jasper away with me._

"_Alice…how close?"_

"_Very. He'll be here any second! Let's go." _

"_Alice. You have to go. Run now."_

"_No, Jasper! There is no way I'm leaving you here…you haven't eaten and he's had his fill of human blood! You'll die! I'm staying."_

"_Alice, it's better if it's just me than both of us." He tried to reason._

"_He knows both of our scents…even if I leave, he'll find me…"_

"_If I face him, Alice, you'll be far enough away to lose him…and maybe I'll be enough for him." Jasper concluded, knowing he was right but also seeming to strangle the sorrow in his voice._

_I knew he was right, but there was no way I would allow him to sacrifice himself for me. Tears burned at the bottom of my eyes, threatening to fall. Everything was happening at lightning speed and I couldn't seem to catch my breath. When did our forever tick down to its final seconds? _

"_But…I could stay instead…"I said panicked. I felt calmness begin to wash over me and I scowled at him the best that I could, "No…Jasper I don't want to be calm! Stop." Panic reacquainted itself. _

_This was all too much right now, and I needed to just wake up from this crazy nightmare that I was having. As my vision became more clouded, I struggled to choke back sobs that had crept their way up my throat. I suddenly felt small and weak, like even the slightest breeze would tip me over. My breath came out in short gasps, and Jasper pulled me tight against him. _

"_Alice…" he whispered in concern._

"_No." I stubbornly whimpered._

"_Alice there's no time…" He begged, on the verge of tears himself._

_I repeated, "No, Jasper."_

_His thirsty eyes now held a new emotion as well. Grief washed over him quickly and tears began to spill over his cheeks as he pulled my lips to him. Crushing us desperately together, I tightly tangled my fingers into his hair for dear life. I parted my lips, granting him entrance for, which I refused to be, the last time. We stayed like that for what seemed to be the shortest time of my life, and I pulled back to look into his sullen eyes._

_All the pressure and sadness built up inside of me and I exploded. I balled. I sobbed hard. The only thing in my life worth living for…was him. How could I go on?_

"_Please go," he croaked barely above a whisper, "He's probably closer by now."_

_I stood devastated that I just had to sit back while he…while he…fought. In a final attempt to be of some kind of help, "I'll bring back help."_

"_Not enough time." He blurted quickly, obviously without much thought._

"_There will be," I stated, feigning confidence._

_He looked at me with the oddest mixture of pity and misery I'd ever seen, "Alright."_

_Somehow I felt he didn't truly mean it, "I'll be back as soon as I can….I love you." _

_The tears still poured freely down my face as he gave a sad nod, "I love you too…I really do, now go."_

_I began walking backwards slowly as not to lose one second of looking at him. I sprinted back to him quickly and locked our limbs together in the tightest bear hug, chocked out another sob, and walk backwards away from him until his outline was no longer visible._

_Immediately, I sped home as quick and inhumanly as possible. I was somewhat careless and blinded by my determination, for I allowed several tree branches to connect with me. Pain went directly to my still heart as I fought to gain more speed._

_A sharp scream in anguish emitted from the forest, sending many a bird into panicked frenzies. Against my better judgment I came to a halt. Fearing deeply it was Jasper's cry, I subconsciously began to walk back. I naively convinced myself it could have been the other vampire, but I was only kidding myself. I knew Jasper's voice anywhere. _

_Stopping dead in my tracks, shock kept me silent but still curious. I desperately needed to know the outcome of the battle, and realized that I could just look ahead._

_I stood solidly in my spot in the woods and closed my eyes in concentration. I'd been able to gain so much more control over my power since Bella's encounter with James._

_I calmed myself by taking one large breath into my diaphragm. Flashes and bits of images whizzed around me until I finally focused on Jasper and the vampire from my first vision._

_False hope flooded my system when I saw the vampire with only an arm and a half a leg left connected to his partially shredded abdomen. He held a flame. A smile had yet to cross my face though, for the image I saw was that of Jasper lying helplessly dismembered with the look of sheer pain on his beautiful features. _

_I yanked myself from the vision instantly, knowing and not wanting to witness the next happenings. Maybe I could make it back home in time. I frowned, knowing even if I defied the odds and did make it to our family, there was no time to make it back to him._

_I let my emotions flow fully as I collapsed to the cold hard ground sobbing. I found that I was unable to quell the pain, which now shot everywhere throughout me, by simply holding myself. I needed someone else to be there for me…with me. I needed Jasper._

_**End Flashback**_

More now dry, sobs escaped me, but I had long since cared who'd hear me. Most of my thoughts were consumed by Jasper on a regular basis. Happy moments when he smiled or when he did something cute. Now, the last image I'd seen, which exhibited such deep pain, starred in or more like haunted my dreams now.

I had thought it impossible for a vampire to be in such great physical pain, but it paled in comparison to how emotionally distraught I had become.

You know I felt myself becoming more sluggish these days. You know loosing the gracefulness that made me who I am. I'd even overheard Bella and Emmett having a conversation about how I'd lost my 'pixie-like poise' or how I 'used to move like a dancer'. I'd lost my soul mate…not my hearing. I didn't confront them though. I didn't confront anyone anymore, which was very unlike me just to let things go. God knows how long it's been since I'd last spoken anything at all, but I'd bet on the day I was at the clearing with Jasper.

The truth is that I really couldn't trust my voice anymore. It was difficult to keep my mind from wandering so little, or big, cracks in my voice and dry sobs were common. I wasn't that hard to keep quiet though, the entire family was watching over me. I didn't need to tell them. Edward kindly extracted it from me once I refused.

It was odd that I had even escaped their watchful eyes now. They'd wanted to make sure that I stayed safe. It was no big deal though, if they really needed me, they'd know where to find me.

Here. At his grave. Again. I'd been here every day since.

Since he died. It had taken me awhile to even be able to admit to myself, but I was still unable to handle it while I remained calm. So I cried. I cried again for the billionth time. I'd been told that the only fluid a vampire had was its venom, but whoever claimed this obviously never lost their love. Maybe I still had some human left in me, because these were full fledged salty tears streaming down my cheeks. Maybe I should be studied or go down in record books as the 'First and only weeping vampire'.

Composing myself I wondered: How long did everyone really think I could live without him? A few more days? Weeks? Certainly not forever.

I wouldn't call how I'd been dragging these past weeks living though, that's for sure. They didn't understand, not even Edward. Bella hadn't actually died that day on the cliff, so something inside of him must have stayed alive. Not for me though. I knew Jasper was gone, because so was I really. I'm walking dead. Sure, I'd been technically dead since 1920, but now I really felt it.

My head shot up at the thought of Edward's decision about Bella's apparent suicide.

The Volturi.

If Edward could, then so could I. Right? I became slightly excited at the idea. I was home free really. If I left now, no one would be around to stop me. I was the one who could tell the future, Edward was too far from me to read my mind, and Jasper couldn't—

Well Jasper couldn't do a lot of things these days…I scoffed dryly.

Bitterness chilled me to the bone as I felt a scowl form on my features. It melted instantaneously though, and I realized the truth of my statement. With that, the flood gates that were my tear ducts burst open once more.

Shakily I pulled myself to my feet and used the tombstone to steady me on my stuttering legs. I immediately regretted it as the tears seemed to pour harder out of me. It only took me a few minutes to compose myself once more. I had been getting used to it, but my heart still managed to twinge.

I began to move forward but I couldn't help but glance back at the headstone once more. I studied the ground that shielded the empty casket, and knew mine would be right beside it soon. Morbidly, this brought the first genuine smile to my face since Jasper.

I was definitely going to see the Volturi, not that I had any doubt in my mind before. At the time, I don't think I fully realized just how much this would wound the remaining members of my family. Or, maybe, I did, and just being loveless blinded me.

It was unbelievable how hard this was, and none fully understood it. There officious attempts to cheer me failed horribly. They would only truly know the pain if what happened that day in the clearing removed their love from them instead of mine from me. Selfishly, I wished it had. That thought alone was enough to tell me that everyone would be better off without me dimming their lives.

Turing quickly, I routed to the Volturi. I knew Jasper wouldn't have wanted this for me, but he had to know it was only a matter of time.

I sped faster to face heaven…or hell, where I ended up no longer matted to me. I'd be content in either, just as long as he stood with open arms, awaiting my arrival.

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So I worked super hard on this and hope that everyone enjoyed it and maybe even cried a little. Yes? No? Tell me please.

**I love reviews and they really motivate me to continue writing. I planned on this just being a one shot, but I guess I could continue it if people wanted it. It seems like a good place to leave it though.**

**PLEASE REVIEW: I value your opinion and would really like to know if my writing is any good, so that I can maybe write more on Twilight.**

**Thanks.**


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